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In Memory of Traditional Gender Roles and Lessons Learn from Hosting a Bachelorette Party - Making Chaos [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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In Memory of Traditional Gender Roles and Lessons Learn from Hosting a Bachelorette Party [May. 29th, 2014|04:38 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

This was a rather eventful Memorial Day weekend. Friday I went to La Macchina, a new Italian restaurant in Evanston, with Kevin and Chris and then to see X-Men: Days of Future Past. I'd wanted to go to La Macchina since walking past it and seeing that they serve linguini with clams the way I like it, with full in their shells clams rather than lots of tiny clams or even worse shredded clam meat. The dish did not disappoint, but everything else did. The space takes style over comfort when it comes to seating, service was very mediocre starting with a sort of "everything is good" unhelpfulness when Kevin asked for recommendations, transitioning to a busboy taking our olive oil away for no apparent reason while we still had bread and finishing with a long wait for the check. And Chris and Kevin's dishes were only so-so and pricey.

The movie was much better. X-2 is still my favorite of the series, and my favorite superhero movie, but this had some truly spectacular fight sequences that I enjoyed thoroughly. A lot of the characterization was off though. I wanted to know Trask's motivation and Beast, often one of my favorite X-Men, was nothing but a worthless enabler to junkie Xavier. Also apparently the Hulk.

Saturday I left early to drop Kevin off at Melzer's bachelor party and headed to get my bridesmaid dress taken in for lassarina's wedding. Despite ordering it months ago it just came in last week so I have to pay the rush charge but I made a concerted effort to not take my displeasure out on the seamstress as it's not her fault. Then it was off to the first stop of the bachelorette party, King Spa, which was also where my bachelorette party started. It's really a wonderful place for some social relaxing and I seriously hope it doesn't take another friend getting married for me to go back. Then I went home to walk Ladybug and met up at Roka Akor where I feel like I somewhat forcefully got everyone on board with their shared plates policy after a lot of "but I really want this" and "I don't want that." I might have been a bully about it but I feel like most people were pretty happy with the decision to try more things and I was extremely happy with not having to play 10 person bistromathics.

Next stop was my house for the drunken debauchery section, which proved the most educational. Things I learned:

  • Strippers smell nice. Seriously, the guy that came over was good looking and had really ripped abs but I think his smell was my favorite part. I wound up asking him what he was wearing which was appropriately Playboy. Kevin might be getting some as a gift.

  • Getting a lap dance will turn me on but it just makes me wish Kevin was right there so I could do something about it. So score one for marital fidelity I guess.

  • My friends cannot handle their liquor. Seriously, I went pretty much drink for drink with these girls and four of the seven vomited that night with the bride-to-be getting sick the next day. I guess I drink a lot when I'm bar reviewing so maybe I have more of a tolerance? Though I was mixing my own drinks while many of the others were mixed by the maid of honor and those might have been a bit stronger.

  • I will allow my dog to eat vomit if it means I have one less vomit mess to clean up. I'm not proud. She was eager to help.

Sunday was basically devoted to being hungover, with some playing of the Pathfinder board game and watching the second half of cassielsander's Hamlet mini-series, in which Kevin has a speaking role and I am a person with a big stick. It was fun to see how our little scene fit into things at the rest of the work was very well acted, with some super entertaining scenes.

Having recovered, Kevin and I devoted Monday to getting things done. We've been talking about getting a new mattress for a while. We got ours because it was left behind the apartment we moved into in 2006 so we have no idea how old it actually is. Plus fitting two people, two cats and a 45 pound dog into a queen size bed is a bit tight. So we dropped into Back to Bed in Evanston because they were having a Memorial Day sale and got the most skeevy experience from their two sales associates. The first was an older dude who'd been trying to help a couple by a mattress for their daughter and kept complaining that she had "Indecision Paralysis" -- apparently to the point that the dad told him to back off and that he was hurting the sale. He immediately tried to sell us on their most expensive memory foam bed, which cost more than $7K. He explained it was worth it because the bed would last through everything with the exception being the time he "had a bitch have puppies" on his bed. I don't care if that's the technical term dude. I don't want to hear it and I don't care.

Then his manager showed up and directed us to more reasonably priced beds but continued to be super sexist. He asked Kevin if I kick in bed and said "They say the woman is the weaker sex, but not when it comes to the covers." When selling us a mattress cover he warned it wouldn't hold "If he goes out partying with his buddies and comes back and gets sick or if she's lounging around and spills a bottle of red wine." It was like a 1950s sitcom and I have no idea why he was giving a young couple shopping together that kind of pitch. But I guess it worked since we bought a mattress, thought that's mostly because the price was right and it was convenient.

After that we went to Gethsemane to pick out and plant stuff in our garden and out front. Our neighbor was doing the same thing with his wife. When he saw me planting flowers he told Kevin "You need a woman to plant the flowers." Even though both dudes were also gardening. And this guy is a professional landscaper. I love my neighbor. He's super nice but that was kind of bizarre.

The final step in Traditional Gender Rolls Memorial Day came at dinner. We went to Revolucion Mexican Steakhouse and both Kevin and I ordered combo plates. I got coconut shrimp and flank steak (a little surf and turf) and he picked their barbecue chicken and ribs. But when the dishes came out the steak and ribs were on Kevin's plate and the chicken and fish were on mine. It didn't matter since we'd planned on sharing everything anyways but we concluded that mix up was likely because steak and ribs are man food and chicken and fish are girl food.

But whatever, I now have a lovely garden, enjoyed my meal and will soon have a new mattress. Now I'm off to walk my dog (who is a female and has puppies but I still refer to as a dog, thanks) and grill some shrimp. Maybe I'll play some video games. Maybe I'll do laundry.

[User Picture]From: adam_0oo
2014-05-29 10:01 pm (UTC)
I have heard the same things from guys in strip clubs, that getting lap dances mostly made them miss their wives.
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[User Picture]From: cassielsander
2014-05-29 11:10 pm (UTC)
At the risk of self-advertisement, both of these experiences remind me of the one & only category I've contributed to TV Tropes: Retargeted Lust.

Edited at 2014-05-29 11:17 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: spreadnparanoia
2014-05-30 01:15 pm (UTC)
Nice. I really enjoy the distinction between that and "I'll be in my bunk."
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[User Picture]From: pooka_madness
2014-05-30 01:41 pm (UTC)
  • I will allow my dog to eat vomit if it means I have one less vomit mess to clean up. I'm not proud. She was eager to help.

Edited at 2014-05-30 01:41 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: pooka_madness
2014-05-30 01:42 pm (UTC)
Also: I am sorry I didn't really get a chance to catch up with you & Kevin while I was briefly in town. I hope things are well with y'all and your dog.
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[User Picture]From: sabrielrose
2014-05-30 04:28 pm (UTC)
...yeah, sorry about that. I was trying to clean up the bathroom for you, but was a little hard with a quasi-passed out person in the way.

It was definitely the drinks that Sev was mixing- I don't have a great tolerance, but I didn't see her mixing them so I can only assume they were a lot stronger than they tasted. Not an experience I care to repeat anytime soon (stripper notwithstanding.)
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[User Picture]From: spreadnparanoia
2014-06-01 01:33 am (UTC)
I really do appreciate your clean up efforts. I wasn't able to do more until the space had been vacated but then it was actually pretty easy given what you'd already done.
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[User Picture]From: rollick
2014-05-30 07:45 pm (UTC)
We got some of that gender-roles stupidity when we last went to Mexico, when the guy who was booking our excursions kept offering us bonuses, like "$100 in shopping coupons for the lady, and a bottle of tequila for the gentleman so he has something to keep him interested while she's shopping all day." The only reason we didn't correct him was because being annoyed with him helped make us more immune to his upsell tricks.

That said, I would have told both those mattress salesmen that a) it was none of their damn business what I do in bed, and b) they'd lost a sale due to their stupid bullshit. Gross.
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[User Picture]From: lassarina
2014-06-01 04:06 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry about the mess. I really appreciate you having hosted, and I had a great time. ♥

Wow, that is an awful lot of gender essentialist BS to have packed into one weekend.
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[User Picture]From: oberndorf
2014-06-03 03:20 am (UTC)
So what ARE traditional gender rolls? My wife likes cinnamon rolls (I was spoiled by a tiny, long-closed, small-town bakery years ago and can never recapture that particular platonic ideal) and I tend to prefer something in a pumpernickel, but I think we've known for years that I'm a little off.

Or, there's a typo in the second to last paragraph. But somehow my way is more fun, I think.
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